Late-night television hosts sharply criticized the shocking armed incursion targeting Caracas, the capture of the Venezuelan leader, and nebulous plans to "manage" the South American nation.
Jon Stewart
Making his first appearance to the show in the new year, the comedian dove straight into the surprise move to extract Maduro from power in early January, an action condemned by numerous countries as a "crime of aggression."
"Without a doubt, this is actually a very tense moment for the international community," he said. "It is highly unusual for any government to breach the airspace and territory of another sovereign nation and execute a snatch operation on their president."
"The truth is, nobody can predict how this mission is going to unfold," he continued. "But based on the America's history, my prediction is we’re going to be overjoyed about this for a couple of weeks. And then three decades from now, there will be a socialist uprising in Venezuela, and the future regime will cite this event as the reason our embassy there is in flames. And it will absolutely ruin a Democrat’s presidency. Typically, that’s how this shit works."
Stewart also pointed out the blatant admission that the incursion was motivated in part by access to crude oil, even after aides’ efforts to frame it as an counter-narcotics effort.
"Petroleum. Precious commodity, undoubtedly – but not the reason a country, formed 250 years ago on the ideas of liberty and self-determination, would invade a country and kidnap a man at night," said Stewart. "You'd think there would be a slightly more noble excuse. Is this your first war? I mean, what the fuck?"
He joked that the frankness ruined conspiracy theories: "'I think they did it for the oil' – Actually, I did it for the oil."
Stewart noted the dangerous precedent being set: "Whenever we want something and it’s within reach, we are going to take it."
"My sympathy lies with are the Trump defendants, the excuse-makers, the sycophants, who haven’t received the message that we don't need to cloak our adventurism in the lofty principles of our nation," he concluded. "The reality is, this is all exhausting and exposes the great divide in America – not the body of water. The true chasm is the gap between the high aspirations that embody this country and the bullying tactics that this crew thinks makes us great again."
The ABC Late-Night Host
The host came back with a rapid recap of the action-packed end-of-year period. "It would take a nine-part film to explain everything," he said. "But I’m going to do my best to boil it down."
He recalled that Trump recently hosted a televised honors event, which allegedly earned the lowest ratings in the ceremony's history. "I pity the staffer who had to see those ratings and eat ’em," he mused.
Kimmel also pointed out the stark contrast between a promise of "peace on earth" and the decision to launch a military intervention just two days. "To give you an idea of how damaging these released documents are for Trump, turns out they’re 'invade Venezuela' bad," he stated.
Even worse, Kimmel ridiculed the assertion about now managing Venezuela. "He plans to govern another country? He can't run the country he runs!" he fumed. "This is like if a struggling store decided to buy another failing retailer."
The CBS Late Show Host
During his monologue, Colbert commented on the unexpected operation. "Do you know what this means? Those documents must be crazy," he said, sipping on stage.
"For the record, Maduro is not a good guy," he acknowledged. "The question is suddenly decide to snatch their president in what appears to be a breach of domestic and global statutes? Well, allegedly, the last straw was Maduro’s penchant for dancing in public."
"OK … that’s a new one," he reacted after viewing a clip. "Let this be a warning to every uncle at a wedding."
Colbert then mocked the ensuing question of who would govern Venezuela, suggesting it might come down to media companies. "Naturally, Trump has his plan," which is to "manage the nation until such time as a safe, proper and judicious transition."
"Wait, he'll run this country and Venezuela?" he joked. "Apparently, when he says 'putting America first' he means in the dictionary."
The NBC Late Night Host
"You guys, Donald Trump made history this weekend by becoming the first winner of a international peace award to initiate a military strike and kidnap its leader," joked Meyers. "It's the biggest surprise since a notorious character was voted least likely to do something heinous."
Meyers criticized the attempts to spin the attack as a war against drug trafficking, while the central figure immediately admitted the motivation was oil. "It’s really just amazing how Trump just undercuts everyone around him and confesses the truth," he said.
He also played a compilation of clips showing past statements condemning "foreign entanglements."
"I still can’t actually believe anyone believed Trump was being sincere about being opposed to conflict," Meyers stated. "Did people assume Donald Trump, the most thin-skinned man on the planet, would suddenly embrace the concept of restraint when he gained control of the U.S. armed forces? Entrusting Donald Trump control of the U.S. military is like giving a reality TV cast an open bar and a 'one free slap' coupon. There’s going to be a lot of conflict, a lot of drama and a lot of terrible decisions."
