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The current period signifies a full decade since the word “disappearing” entered the public consciousness. Back then, the idea that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the height of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the decade since, navigating toward a mate has only become more bewildering – an commonly pointless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Gen Z, a generation who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial predecessors could ever fathom. And so their dating glossary has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a detailed guide to the phrases Zoomers is using to talk about love, sex and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – For gen Z, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A social media test loosely based on a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's reply is interested or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This refers to going for someone who supports you proactively. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people bond while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do low-cost romance in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional excess, it describes couples who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of acting aloof: practicing communication, transparency and openness.

F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks suggesting a potential partner is not right. Examples include calling their exes crazy, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits validate your choice to date a mate. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, mostly inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and usually everyday repulsions that instantly kill any feelings of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful gesture.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy realistic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {